How many times have you seen (or even worse, sent) something like this?

Subject line: simply the word “update”. Woof.

This email could be — and at times, actually has been — any of these different things:

• “I’m leaving to spend more time with my family”*
• “The business is shutting down”
• “We received budget allocation approvals for your new standing desks”
• “New keyfobs will be distributed during lunch”
• “They’re finally going to paint that one wall tomorrow”
• “The toilet on the second floor is clogged”
• “Congratulations to Karen and Johavistro on the birth of their first child”
• “We’re letting you go, but I don’t know who you are to be able to come tell you in person”

(*lol k sure)

We get it. You’re an important person with important things to say. You don’t remember what that feeling of panic is like anymore when you get something like that, though, so please: throw everyone a bone and at least give a hint of what it is you have to say. Write literally anything else in that subject line.